I just had a ludicrously silly conversation with Jem that ended in her doubled over in laughter and me silently feeling very pleased with myself for causing it, especially with such inane rubbish.
I’ll attempt to transcribe the conversation here, but take this as fair warning – you really did have to be there, it won’t be anywhere near as funny writtten out.
It all started with Jem sniffing my armpit (don’t ask) and informing me that I smelt good. The conversation then went as follows:
G: I always smell good. [in French accent] It’s all thanks to Pong de Light Guard*
J: *laughs*
G: [after thinking that “Pong de” sounds a bit like “Pomme de”, and again spoken in a French accent] I’m working on my next fragrance, it smells like potato. I call it “Pong de terre.”
J: *laughter* You’re a ‘nana.
G: [French] Ah, non, that fragrance isn’t ready yet. “Pong de peel.”
J: *laughter* Oh dear.
G: I should really have gone with “Paco Banane” for that one.
J: *guttural moans*
G: [back to French] I think you’d also really enjoy my pea-flavoured fragrance, “Petits Pong.”
J: OK, that’s enough now.
G: Or my bean-themed product, “Pong tout.”
J: Please stop.
Sometimes, it’s the little moments that really make you appreciate the person you’re with.
* Not sure why I said “Light Guard” instead of “Right Guard” here, but in the interests of accuracy I’ve not bothered to correct it.