Tag: jem

“No lists”, he said

I screwed up and didn’t blog yesterday, so that’s two days out of the 30 that I’ve failed so far. Still, like the previous time, my excuse was simply that I didn’t have an awful lot of time in which to blog, and my back being screwy is still causing me no end of grief.

So get off my case, mang.

Anyway, I now have to blog for today and – to be honest – I’m starting to run out of ideas. Never mind though, Jem has given me a great idea for a blog post and despite it going against one of my own pre-determined rules at the start ("No listicles") it’ll do in a pinch.

"Enough already, what’s the topic?" I hear you cry.

Awesome Jem

Yeah, basically, this is just going to be a list of things that I like and love about Jem, and how she’s made a difference to my life in the 18 months or so that we’ve been seeing each other.

Jem did this for me once, in a private e-mail, telling me how awesome I was. She came up with over 200 different items (although some were basically duplicates) – I doubt I’ll get anywhere near that, but let’s see…

Go!

  1. She does the same job I do, which means finally I can talk/rant to someone about things work related and they understand.
  2. She possesses a decent amount of intelligence.
  3. And knows how to use it.
  4. She looks great in most dresses.
  5. She knows her own mind (most of the time) and is as stubborn as I am.
  6. She’s a good cook.
  7. She’s a great driver, despite only having a licence for a few years.
  8. She is interested in many of the same things I am.
  9. She does not object to me doing things that I want to do, even when they don’t involve her.
  10. She doesn’t mind me referring to her as "she."
  11. She looks great out of most dresses.
  12. She puts up with my car-changing habit.
  13. And my other bad habits.
  14. She’s a fast typer, although not as fast as me – natch.
  15. She makes an effort with my family and friends.
  16. She has a varied taste in films and TV, despite not really watching that much of it prior to being with me.
  17. She appreciates history.
  18. And art.
  19. And architecture, especially gothic.
  20. She isn’t afraid to tell me when I’m being unreasonable.
  21. She doesn’t mind having the mickey taken out of her.
  22. And also doesn’t have any problems taking the mickey out of me.
  23. The way her hair sort of "curls" around her ears is dangerously cute.
  24. She has a terrific smile.
  25. Which, in the words of Semisonic, she reserves only for me.
  26. She reads books.
  27. She has more books than DVDs.
  28. She has more Terry Pratchett books than DVDs (although, full disclosure – I’ve never read a Terry Pratchett book despite it being on my "to do" list for ever)
  29. She has a sense of humour that is very similar to my own (although we do disagree on some things, notably Big Train)
  30. She humours me when I tell bad jokes and Dad jokes.
  31. And also when I’m trying to dazzle her with a new card trick that I’ve learned.
  32. She’s a great mother (although not to me, obv)
  33. She’s actually managing to turn me into someone who is happy to be around kids.
  34. She has a childish streak to rival my own.
  35. Sometimes she can be as mad as a box of frogs.
  36. She is (for the most part) good with money, which is good as I’m bloody terrible with it.
  37. She looks great in my shirts, even better than she does in dresses.
  38. She works hard to keep herself in shape and keep fit, and is always looking to improve herself.
  39. She loves her cats.
  40. And mine.
  41. She had no concerns about me moving in with her and pushing my way into her life and home.
  42. She doesn’t think my Celica is silly or "chavvy."
  43. She makes a damn good cup of coffee.
  44. She is sympathetic to my plight when I’m suffering with my bad back.
  45. She is very strong willed (again, for the most part) and once she sets her sight on something will strive to achieve it.
  46. Her extroversion brings out a little bit of my extroversion when we’re with other people.
  47. She boycotts Nestlé products (I don’t because I don’t have scruples, but I don’t particularly like the company or its business practices)
  48. She managed to make a list like this that was 200+ strong and all about me.
  49. She has overcome hardships that I can’t even begin to comprehend and has managed to make something of her life and raise two well-rounded (so far, at least) small children.
  50. She has a fantastic arse.

I’m going to stop there as it’s a nice round number (kind of like the subject of point 50) but in theory I could have gone on – I don’t think I’d get up to the lofty heights of 200, but nevertheless, there’s a lot to like about her.

Cheers, love.

(someone pass the sickbags – Ed)

Let’s party like it’s 2016!

Jem turns 30 next year, and thanks to me and my Big Mouth, it now falls upon me to organise a birthday party for this age-related milestone.

I’m still not 100% sure how I volunteered myself for this task, but Jem assures me that I did, legitimately and without coercion.

The good news is that I have already organised a venue, thanks to Kirsty at work giving me some super ideas of places that I could enquire to about it. I’ve found a venue that is quite close to the train station and also relatively close to the Premier Inn in Shrewsbury, which will be handy not only for some of the partygoers but likely also for Jem and myself – I can’t imagine we’re going to be in a fit state to drive back to Broseley that evening.

So, what else do I need to organise? Well, my list currently stands at:

  • DJ or other musical entertainment
  • Catering
  • Room and table decorations
  • Cake
  • Hiring pole-dancing equipment (don’t ask)
  • Fancy dress, or some sort of theme perhaps?
  • Oompah-loompahs
  • A marching band
  • A videographer
  • Two turtle doves
  • Commissioning a special 30th birthday dress to be made especially for Jem
  • Production of 30 candles laced with vodka
  • Procurement of vodka
  • Hiring a skywriter to write directions to the venue from the train station in the air
  • A bouncy castle
  • A chocolate vodka fountain
  • and finally, some sort of cat-themed cabaret act

As you can see, I’ve got my work cut out for me! Good thing that I don’t really need to keep it a surprise, I’m terrible at that sort of thing.

 

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